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When a spouse asks for a divorce, it can be shocking and upsetting. Even if the marriage is rocky, the decision to divorce can be the start of a complex process with an uncertain outcome. If the other partner wants to save the marriage, he or she may take desperate steps. However, psychologists warn that certain actions may be unhealthy as well as having a negative impact on the outcome of a New Jersey divorce.

When one has decided to get out of a marriage, the partner may react emotionally by crying, begging or using other methods of manipulation. He or she may also try to gain support of others by asking them to convince the spouse to stay. These tricks seldom work and often make the departing spouse more convinced that divorce is the right decision. Matters may turn ugly if a partner tries to spy on the departing spouse by checking phone histories, emails, GPS and other private items.

Instead, psychologists recommend that someone whose spouse has asked for a divorce might choose the healthier route of remaining respectful and keeping communication lines open with the other partner. If one is dealing with overwhelming emotions, seeking professional help is always a wise idea. Additionally, seeking legal help as soon as possible may prevent one from allowing emotions to govern the outcome of the divorce.

It is rare that one spouse can use manipulation to change the mind of a partner who has decided to divorce. Instead, some counselors recommend that a spouse faced with divorce keep busy and focus on the positive possibilities for the future. One way to improve the chances of a more positive future is to obtain a fair settlement with the help of a skilled New Jersey attorney.